Building a Strong Parent-toddler Bond: Quality Time and Connection
Enhance parent-toddler bond with quality time. Discover ways to foster connection and strengthen relationships for lifelong benefits.
Providing Quality Childcare Since 2012 • Infants, Toddlers & Preschool • Daycare Centre
Building a parent-toddler bond is one of the most rewarding aspects of parenting, as it lays the foundation for the emotional well-being and social and cognitive development they will benefit from throughout their life. Because juggling with work, home, and chores requires a lot of time and work, you may discover that developing such a bond with your child can sometimes be challenging.
In this article, we explore how you can create and enforce this bond, ensuring your child will know to initiate and maintain healthy relationships as an adult.
Why is a Parent-toddler Bond Essential?
Such a bond is vital for your child because you are the first person he has a relationship with, the person he trusts (the most) in the world, and because he looks up to you.
Why Do Toddlers Cling to One Parent?
Many parents find their toddlers clinging to one of their two parents. The good news is that, according to child behaviour experts, this is not uncommon but rather a tactic that provides your little one with the attention he needs.
Usually, children younger than five rely on a parent who spends more time with them. That is why they instinctually gravitate towards that parent and show little interest in the other parent. This doesn’t imply that the toddler has no love for the other parent.
It is just their attitude towards the parent he is less familiar with who, according to the toddler, is less predictable than the parent that usually takes care of him for the most time.
Parent-toddler Bond: Do Toddlers Prefer One Parent?
Yes, and that happens because the toddlers want to stay connected to the parent who meets their needs and spends more time with them.
This connection is called ‘hierarchies of attachment,’ a frequent behaviour in which little ones prioritise certain relationships over others and rank their parents based on who is around them the most. As they grow, toddlers become more comfortable with both parents and favouring one of them disappears over time.
What Can You Do When Your Toddler Has a Favourite Parent?
In brief, you need to:
- know this is a temporary situation;
- don’t take it personally because your child loves you as much as they love his other parent;
- don’t feel guilty since this is a frequently manifested behaviour in toddlers, and you cannot prevent it.
Parent-toddler Bond: How Do I Know If My Toddler Has Bonded With Me?
Toddlers know how to show their affection and if they have formed a parent-toddler bond.
When that happens, they might:
Give you lots of kisses and cuddles
By 15 months, children are delighted to kiss, cuddle, and hug you. So be prepared for this river of affection.
Seek comfort from you
If your little ones come running to you for a hug after they fall or ask for cuddling after having a nightmare, you have certainly developed a parent-toddler bond that will help them navigate childhood with the confidence you are always in their corner.
Imitate your behaviour
Toddlers master the art of imitating you, which is a pure compliment from their hearts. They may surprise you by trying to hold your cup of coffee, or you may be amused by how they arrange their hair in the mirror, all in an effort to be like you.
Show that you are their Number One person
Toddlers are always interested in showing you their latest “discoveries”. They are keen to answer your questions, get your feedback on their achievements, and check your reactions to their explorations or projects. This indicates that your parent-toddler bond is authentic since you are the person whose opinion they value the most in the world.
You are also the person they trust and care for the most : when they are in a new environment, they will oscillate between boldly exploring the surroundings and returning to you for a short moment of reassurance.
How To Build a Strong Parent-toddler Bond
When it comes to advice on how to raise a child who will enjoy a healthy, achieved and balanced life as an adult, you might have heard the saying: “Be there for your child it matters the most”. While we agree with this advice, it is not limited to being physically around your kid. A bond with your little one is made from all the moments you share, engaging in activities, experiences and meaningful conversations for him.
This is our list of parent-toddler bonding activities
Talk to your toddler and acknowledge his feelings
A healthy relationship with your child is based on listening, as this is how you learn his interests, passions or struggles.
When your child is upset or hurt, it may be difficult for him to express these feelings, and you must teach him how to do that. By helping him understand and express how he feels, you acknowledge these feelings, showing him that you value them. This will help him become a person who trusts the ones around him and knows how to communicate what he experiences, paving the way towards healthy relationships in the years to come.
Talking to your child is invaluable because it enables you to identify common interests (like dancing, painting, or sports, for instance) and detect problems whenever your child has them.
You can start applying open communication at an early age: by explaining to your child that your conversations will always take place in a safe place where you will not judge or punish him, you help him understand that he can always rely on your support and guidance. It will encourage him to always be honest, even in difficult moments he may encounter later in life.
Spend time and play with your child
Seeing you in the evening when you return from work may be the highlight for your toddler, who wants to spend time and play with you. And even though on some days this may be a challenging task, it is vital to do it so you strengthen the bond with your child. Moreover, this will make your child feel loved and very important to you.
You can engage in activities he prefers, whether playing Musical Statues, exploring a sensory bin, playing with bath toys in a tub filled with extra foam, or reading his favourite story with the character impersonating.
These parent-child bonding activities enable you to explore the world through your child’s eyes and are powerful tools for nurturing your relationship.
Show your children love
According to a study published in 2010, babies who receive regular and loving physical contact like hugs display considerable progress in their brain’s development. Physical affection is essential for the emotional and physical growth from the early stages of their lives because it makes them feel loved and safe. This cultivates a high self-esteem that contributes to their becoming emotionally balanced adults who will establish and nurture healthy relationships.
Be sincere and authentic in the relationship with your child
You are a role model for your child, which entails that he will involuntarily integrate some of your reactions and behaviours into his conduct. Therefore, it is paramount to be sincere and authentic in your interactions: By apologising when you make a mistake and telling them when you are sad or tired and need a minute to pull yourself together, you show them that you are not perfect and that they don’t have to be either.
Keeping your promises shows your little ones that they mean the world to you and that you take them seriously. By inspiring them to adopt the same behaviour, they will develop a sense of authenticity, integrity and honesty from an early age, which will be a vital asset in their adult life.
A strong parent-toddler bond entails an everyday commitment to your child’s healthy emotional, physical, social, and cognitive development. This bond enables you to teach your child the skills he needs to enjoy a fulfilled life and to feel loved and appreciated, which in turn helps cultivate high self-esteem and success.
We've put together some helpful articles about childcare and daycare in New Zealand
Developing Social Skills in Childcare: Why Group Play Matters
Meet the Team: An Interview with Lu Li, Toddler Room Team Leader
Helping Your Toddler Adjust to a New Sibling
Meet the Team: A chat with Sudha Sharma, Mount Roskill
Natural Materials in Early Childhood Education at BBELC
20 Hours ECE NZ: How the Childcare Subsidy Works for Parents in Auckland
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